Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
