You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
