i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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