I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize