If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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