Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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