Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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