i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table