dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
