he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
