My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
