Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
