Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
