have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
