Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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