and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
