At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
