I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
