Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.