i don't like sucking hair
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
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just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
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The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He? As in you personified your dick?