I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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