Barsexuality is the new black.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize