so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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