I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i dont even know how to be here
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
