Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
NoShamevember. You game?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
