it was like his penis was on wheels.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
