What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize