Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
