You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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