What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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