I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize