i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
