Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
