Your dad touched me again.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
