please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
where are my eyebrows?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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