Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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