her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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