all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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