i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
