Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
