I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
