We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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