I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
