I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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