At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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