I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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