Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you inspire me to be a worse person
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
