And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
