You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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