Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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