People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf