Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack

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  (647): fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack http://tfl.nu/ix39
  Replies (21) Good night (978) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?

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  (617): This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off? http://tfl.nu/xunp
  Replies (10) Good night (578) Bad night (2609)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace

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  (413): My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace http://tfl.nu/tutd
  Replies (10) Good night (1413) Bad night (4262) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome

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  (708): I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome http://tfl.nu/0ypv
  Replies (11) Good night (1563) Bad night (3953) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..

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  (973): can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces.. http://tfl.nu/3uan
  Replies (6) Good night (2656) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?

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  (781): Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump? http://tfl.nu/1thl
  Replies (14) Good night (1194) Bad night (3249) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...

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  (781): Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out... http://tfl.nu/xv6z
  Replies (5) Good night (2396) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..

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  (920): False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over.. http://tfl.nu/vzuj
  Replies (6) Good night (948) Bad night (1983) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.

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  (214): Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it. http://tfl.nu/1ffs
  Replies (11) Good night (2549) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob

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  (440): I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob http://tfl.nu/pg2m
  Replies (13) Good night (2607) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night

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  (505): She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night http://tfl.nu/ai6j
  Replies (12) Good night (408) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.

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  (940): He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there. http://tfl.nu/awit
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (366) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome

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  (303): I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome http://tfl.nu/ctsa
  Replies (4) Good night (1257) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.

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  (541): I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do. http://tfl.nu/nqe0
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.

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  (501): Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago. http://tfl.nu/csbb
  Replies (5) Good night (1074) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt

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