is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.