OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
