so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
