Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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