Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
