He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
