i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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