i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
