Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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