can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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